Delicate
by Nibbson
Summary: One shot. Nigel and Hoagie discuss one of the big questions in life... well discuss might not be the best word. First upload.


**Delicate**

Hoagie and Nigel stood with their backs against the base of the old, gnarly tree in Nigel's back yard. Summer was fading fast, and a cool breeze gently rustled the ancient leaves above them, causing the faded and dilapidated tree house nestled within to creak ever so slightly. The sun was disappearing over the endless sea of suburban rooftops as the boys, both 17 years old, stood in silence, absorbing the calm evening. Nigel was the first to sit, sliding down the trunk with a sigh and slumping onto the already damp grass, throwing a glance upwards at the tree house. He smiled as if regarding an old friend, and then slapped Hoagie hard on the calf.

"That was a cue, moron," he chuckled, "sit down."

Hoagie broke from what must only have been deep, deep thought and joined his friend on the ground, still in a daze. The silence continued for another ten minutes as the sun removed its self from the world completely and just as the first star twinkled into visible existence, Nigel found the desire to speak up again.

"Seniors," he said whimsically, "my friend, we are high school seniors."

Hoagie let out a long whistle.

"A year left," he smiled, "and then, man, we're outta here."

"London for me," Nigel grinned back, "working for my good-for-nothing uncle, and NASA for you, with some cushy bursary."

"Scary stuff," Hoagie was staring at the ruins above them, "where did the time go?"

His comment left them both in thought for another period of silence. The street lamp visible over the yard's fence flickered to life, giving the area around it an eerie yellow tinge. Nigel's face suddenly lit up and he turned to his friend.

"You won't believe who I saw in the mall yesterday," he almost laughed.

"Who?"

"Lizzie Devine."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"How's she looking?"

"Wow."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah."

"Go figure."

"Hah, _figure_..."

Hoagie just groaned as Nigel chuckled to himself.

"Since when are you the comedian?" he rolled his eyes, "Wasn't that my gig?"

"Yeah, but you were terrible."

"You had a fat girlfriend."

"At least I had a girlfriend."

Nigel's face lit up again as Hoagie began mentally kicking the hell out of himself.

"So speaking of girlfriends..." Nigel said with an evil grin.

"Piss off," Hoagie waved a hand at him and turned his attention to the sky.

"So you and Abby..."

"Drop it."

"But _you_... and and and and _Abby_..."

"I said drop it, we're friends."

"Rachel and I were friends."

"You weren't best friends," Hoagie said strongly, turning back to glare at his companion, "why is that so hard to understand?"

"'Cause you guys are into each other," Nigel said as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Really? Last time I checked with me, and her, we weren't."

"You spoke to her about it?"

"We talk about everything. We tell each other everything. We know everything about each other, ie; best friends."

Nigel recoiled slightly and sat back against the tree again. Crickets had begun their nightly racket as the muffled sound of Prime Time TV drifted softly across the yard. The breeze had become a small wind, sending a chill up Hoagie's spine. He zipped his hoodie closed and stuck his hands in his jean pockets.

"Guys and girls can't be just friends," Nigel said suddenly.

"And why's that?" Hoagie sighed, irritated that they were still on the subject.

"Sex," Nigel stated, "we have interest in the opposite sex for, well, sex; it's primal."

"That is frighteningly shallow," Hoagie cut him off.

"Its fact," Nigel chuckled, "human nature. These cross-sex friendships are based purely on the one half wanting the other, or in the case of you and Abby, both halves wanting the other."

"You're generalising, there are always exceptions."

"True, but you aren't one."

"We've argued about this a million times. You don't understand, just drop it."

"I think I of all people understand," Nigel said sitting forward again, "I've known you two longer than anyone."

"That's not the point," Hoagie shut him down again; "You fail to understand not us, but the nature of our relationship. You, and the rest of society it seems, appear to be brainwashed to the idea that two people of the opposite sex cannot have the kind of relationship we do without some form of romance being the base. I blame How Harry Met Sally... and Kim Possible."

"Alright," Nigel said, beginning to sound a little irritated himself, "Then please explain the nature of this relationship."

"We're best friends," Hoagie said simply, "We have the most beautiful friendship; we understand each other in almost every way, we're there for each other, we can have disagreements and simply agree to disagree. We're ourselves with each other; no formalities, no airs, nothing. We can be in each other's company for days, conversation never stops. It's just beautiful."

Hoagie stopped himself, smiling broadly.

"And there is not the slightest hint of attraction?" Nigel asked.

"Not at all," Hoagie said happily, having a sense of an upper hand, "we sleep in the same bed together all the time, dude."

"That means nothing, could just mean you're both chickenshit."

"Oh please..." Hoagie snorted.

"Chickenshit in general," Nigel said, "You've fabricated this unreal..."

"Fabricated?"

"Fabricated."

"That's insulting, what we have is in no way 'fabricated'."

"Tell me," Nigel crossed his arms, "when did this supernatural friendship really kick off?"

"Last year March," Hoagie said without a breath, "The day I got back from that engineering camp in Wisconsin, Abby had just broken up with..."

"Maurice."

Hoagie cringed.

"Now correct me if I'm wrong," Nigel knew he was winning again, "this was a guy you actually designed death-traps for."

"He's a douchebag," Hoagie retorted, flustered, "I just didn't like the way he treated her, and we were friends before."

"Uh-huh," Nigel grinned, "we have a word for that my friend; jealousy."

"Dude, you gotta admit; he was a total douche!"

"Leaving that out of it," Nigel continued, "Abby called and asked if you'd like to come over, just you."

"To watch a DVD," Hoagie threw in weakly, "we watched a DVD..."

"And I'm gonna guess you guys talked, for a long time," Nigel sensed victory approaching, "it started with a bitching about Maurice, but then moved on to other things; you talked about how much had changed, how the two of you used to be so close and how it was criminal to let something like that fade away."

"You're creepy."

"Let me finish. This was when you guys vowed to never let anything come between the two of you again, maybe you had a long hug after that, and with a new sense of closeness you went and watched a DVD, probably a comedy."

"You're very creepy."

"Thank you. The bottom line is, you liked her, and don't deny 'cause you told me you did on more than one occasion, but she was fragile so you did the honourable thing and acted as the listening friend. And because she didn't confess her undying love for you like you had been hoping she would, you assumed she wasn't interested. But here's the funny part; she assumed, because you did the friend thing, that you weren't interested. So the both of you took what could have been a kickass romance and compromised it into the next best thing, a kickass friendship. This fabricated an unreal and delicate situation where the both of you too scared to make a move; because you're so convinced what you have is so good."

Nigel took a breath, grinning like he was being given a standing ovation. Hoagie was a little taken back. He stared at his friend for a long while, playing past events over in his mind over and over again with a sudden new perspective. The tree rustled, the ruins creaked, a burst of laughter erupted from a nearby home. Hoagie smiled.

"What?" Nigel asked cautiously, "sudden realisation that I'm right?"

"Nope."

He hadn't thought so.

"Then what?"

Hoagie took a while before saying anything; he simply put his hands behind his head and slid a little down the tree to lie down.

"That's an impressively well thought through theory," he said, still smiling, "and a surprisingly large amount is spot on..."

"But?" Nigel couldn't help himself.

"But, it goes wrong at the 'funny part'."

"Do elaborate."

"I realised I really didn't like her that way. I could probably date her; we'd probably be a good couple, but why? Is she attractive? Yes, as you know she's quite the knockout. Would I enjoy all the intimate parts? Sure. But why take a circumstance where two people love each other so much, who are so comfortable with each other and confide in each other with everything, why add more? We are both totally content, so why add unnecessary shit just because it's what 'should' be happening? She's out dating, I'm not looking for anyone so I'm not, and regardless if she does or doesn't get lucky, or if I get a lil' lonely we have each other, and if we can help it, that's how it'll always be."

He got up and stretched his back.

"So please don't try and understand it, Nigel. You can't, no one can. But we do, and that is all that matters."

He offered a hand. Nigel took it reluctantly and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. As he did, his other hand brushed against something notched into the tree, a 3 and a 4 in a misshapen heart.

"Guess not every story's a fairy tale," he chuckled, and then grinned, "still not convinced though."

"Whatever Uno," Hoagie laughed, "your doubt only strengthens my faith."

"Let us pizza," Nigel declared and began walking back towards his house.

Hoagie shook his head and began to follow, but stopped as his phone buzzed in his pocket. A text from Abby. The universe had a weird sense of humour.

_Dude, I miss you :) We're doing the arcade tomorrow, not optional :D Cool :D Love you man :)_

* * *

><p><em><strong>So what do ya'll think? Can a guy and a girl have this sorta relationship and just be friends? <strong>_

_**Lemme know in the review you ARE about to write :D**_

_**Nibbson  
><strong>_


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